Something I've recently come to learn about myself is that I really dislike conflict. Given that I am in a profession in which conflict is all but inevitable and that it took me 15 years to figure this out about myself is stunning - it really speaks volumes about my lack of self-awareness.
Don't get me wrong, I can get into a heated debate with the best of them but it gnaws at me for days as I berate myself, whether it's for coming on too strong or for caving like a sissy. I just don't think I have the stomach for it and if I had my way we'd all be holding hands and singing Kumbaya.
Since I don't expect my colleagues to break out into song any time soon, I tell myself I just need to figure out how to live with conflict without eating my body weight in chocolate every week. But then a day like today happens and I question that strategy and my priorities.
A very close friend of our family was diagnosed with late stage IV colon cancer just after the holidays. She was in hospital for 3 weeks while undergoing chemo and has now been discharged with a terminal diagnosis. She is in her early fifties.
In light of such a tragic situation, these conflicts are petty and ridiculous, matters of deep insignificance.