January 27, 2011

kumbaya


Something I've recently come to learn about myself is that I really dislike conflict.  Given that I am in a profession in which conflict is all but inevitable and that it took me 15 years to figure this out about myself is stunning - it really speaks volumes about my lack of self-awareness.

Don't get me wrong, I can get into a heated debate with the best of them but it gnaws at me for days as I berate myself, whether it's for coming on too strong or for caving like a sissy.  I just don't think I have the stomach for it and if I had my way we'd all be holding hands and singing Kumbaya.

Since I don't expect my colleagues to break out into song any time soon, I tell myself I just need to figure out how to live with conflict without eating my body weight in chocolate every week.  But then a day like today happens and I question that strategy and my priorities.

A very close friend of our family was diagnosed with late stage IV colon cancer just after the holidays.  She was in hospital for 3 weeks while undergoing chemo and has now been discharged with a terminal diagnosis.  She is in her early fifties.

In light of such a tragic situation, these conflicts are petty and ridiculous, matters of deep insignificance.  


3 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry about your friend. It certainly puts things into perspective. I wish her and her family comfort during this time.

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  2. Well said my friend. so sorry about your friend, and you are right, in the big scheme of things these ridiculous conflicts mean nothing, but I am here to help you eat your weight in chocolate whenever you need me! (you need to quit your job and become a full time cheesecake baker!!!)

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  3. I'm sorry to read about your friends diagnosis. I hope what time she has left is filled with love and peace. Hugs to her and you while you cope with this.

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